Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"Life Is Not Fair"?


Have you ever heard or used the expression that 'life is not fair'?  If so, can "fair" be defined?  

Throughout the past months, I have encountered many new thoughts and feelings - some old and some new; some good and bad; some happy and others sad.  These have lead me to think about life, specifically my life, which is why I write - hoping to find answers when I read back at what I expressed in the spur of a moment.  

I wish there were a definition for the word "fair" so that the expression above could make sense. 

We make choices in life, which sometimes turn out to be good, and sometimes not.  After the choices are made, many times if the outcome is not the one we had hoped for, we tend to say that it wasn't fair.  However, we should not forget that the choice of what we did was ours and we MADE it.  A good example was our move to MA.  We had the choice of staying in FL or moving.  We knew it was a little crazy to move with an eight week old baby.  We also knew that we didn't have any friends there.  The weather, well...everyone knows how the weather is up in New England.  But, we made the choice.  Once we were there, suffering with the cold and loneliness, it made me feel that life was not fair.  But it was, life was fair, my choice had not been the right one.  Before moving back to FL, though, we had adjusted a little bit more and we had made some great friends - so life was "a little" fair.     

The example above does not fit all of the settings in our life when we say life is not fair.  People get sick. People suffer.  People die.  Loved ones.  Good people.  Kind people.  There are "bad" people that do not get sick.  There are bad people that are "luckier" than others.  There are people who want to be married but never find a partner, and there are those that get married and end up separated/divorced.  Some people want children really badly, and other that don't want them or shouldn't have them, do.  Why!?  Why is it that children get sick? Why do children die?  Why is it that a thief can get into a shoot out and get out injured, while the cop that risked their life is left behind dead? Why? Why? Why? ... 

No matter how hard we think and try to make the right choices, life may not always take the turn(s) we would like.  It may not seem "fair" that we "made the right choice" and things didn't turn out as expected/wanted.  We can question the reasons for which things happen.  We can ask "why me"?  We live through things that make us laugh and smile and other that are painful; things that can change our lives. We see things that can be absolutely beautiful, while others can be horrifying.  It's just life.. There will always good and bad, happiness and sadness, love and "hate"... and no matter what happens, I ask and will ask myself, what is FAIR?